Nothing left to lose a poem by Barbara Jnickwalt

My May Apple
At last : No one to belittle me
              no cleaning up messes not
              not of mine
             no  more pussy footing around
              no more slinking off or
             slinking on
Just what: Kind of shit are you
             trying to stir up
             trying to bring people down
             what to your level ha la bit
             what your joke is on you
             your unhappiness is a wear
Some time: You will see
            You will be aware
             It may take
             A billion life times
             It will happen                                                  Life is just a glimmer
             maybe in a blink of a eye
             The shadow will
             consume you till then                                    From my loins came some surprisingly
                                                                                    strange Beings                        
Will say: wish I could take
               it back                                                          I sprang as an aster purple and petite
                                                                                         overjoyed in emotion
               there is no                                                     One you will not know in this lifetime


               taking it back                                               sometimes only caring about themselves
               already done and gone
The blanket                                                                 and not others in the blanket
                                                                                 
                                                                                    Makes me furious sometimes
In the tunnel
tried to keep me in depravity
slowly found why
but never actually reaching to the top
spin spin like a whirlwind
frail and lisped just a fleeting moment in what
we call time
there was something
I wanted to say
but I forgot what it was
you tried to put me in a hole
inched the way out but
never nervously getting
all the way
This is my friend
https://1drv.ms/i/s!AmJMAmiwHbQTh1kznlk7BxkD_92T                             

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